Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Fun and Frolick with Genevieve in the Morning

This is the exact and uncensored email I sent to Sadie the moment I got to work this morning. Enjoy!

Oh my god! I had the WORST experience this morning. I got up to take my shower, etc, and I always put my contacts in before I get into the shower because otherwise it’s so hard for me to see. In the shower my contact got a little water in it and was smudged so I couldn’t see out of it at all. So I get out of the shower and it’s cold in the apartment so I don’t want to leave the bathroom (it was freezing when I woke up this morning because we never upped the thermostat from when you lowered it before you left for work in the morning. It was so warm yesterday afternoon that we had no reason to, but then I didn’t think about it at all before we went to bed!) Anyway, so I couldn’t see out of my contact, so I needed to take it out and use some solution to clear it. Well, since I cleaned off that counter space (not really anymore, but you know) my solution is in the hall closet and I was naked and didn’t want to go out there. So I thought, “Hey, Sadie wears contacts. I’ll just use some of her solution.” I opened your side of the mirror and pulled it out, sprayed it ALL OVER my contact and reinserted it. BLINDING PAIN. ACID IS BURNING MY EYES OUT. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? IS SADIE A SECRET AGENT AND SOMEONE HAS REPLACED HER SOLUTION WITH ACID TO BURN HER EYES OUT IN SOME SORT OF REVENGE PLOT? I’m spinning around the bathroom, my eye feels like it’s about to fall out. I somehow manage to pry my eye open and take the contact out. I have these huge tears streaming from my eye, and I can open it just far enough to see that it’s completely red and slightly swollen, and tears are just coming out all over. It was HORRIBLE! It finally stop hurting enough for me to reach for your bottle of solution and realize that it’s CLEANER and that you’re not supposed to actually put it in your eye. I didn’t think I would be able to put my contacts in at all again, but I was able to right before I left for work, 45 minutes later. So, I guess that’s what I get for using someone else's contact solution without asking first. My eye is still red and burning a bit. Now I sorta look like I’m smoking pot or something like that, and my coworkers keep giving me the wonky eye. Not a good way to start the day!!!

Aren't I fun?


Blogger Arbusto said...

One time at Luther I got a call from Brooke, "I was going to spray perfume. I usually spray a cloud and walk through it. I pointed the thing the wrong way and it went straight into my eyes."

I don't envy these fun stories but I laugh at you all.

12:32 PM  
Blogger Dawn said...

Gen, I almost fell off my chair from laughing at your pain! Glad you're eye is feeling better, what a super bummer way to start the day, eh?!

2:24 PM  
Blogger Angelina said...

Oh gosh do I feel your pain. Every time I put in or take out my lenses I think about the possibilities of LASIK surgery, but don't like stuff poking around my eyelids.

3:37 PM  
Blogger Dawn said...

uuummm, have you ever thought that maybe you already have something poking in your eye 24/7 when you're wearing your contacts? just a random thought!

8:52 PM  
Blogger Angelina said...

no, but i meant like *active* poking, or something like that

11:03 AM  
Blogger SouthernCanadian said...

Ow, ow, ow! My eyes burn just from reading - I think I'm having sympathy pains.

9:33 AM  

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